Guest Post | Ship of Fools by Sophia Soames

Guest-Post

Today, we have Sophia Soames here to tell us about some of her books and her life. As a mother of four, I can relate to what she has to say LOL


Authors are always told to write about topics that we know well, and that advice is mostly solid.

Apart from when it’s writing about your own job. I have put off writing about what I do for years, because it is simply….yes. Messy.

I have spent the last 25 years knee deep in the Travel and Customer service industry, and whilst many people might think this is a glamourous and exciting career choice, let me start off by correcting that. Well…. Of course, they are absolutely right.

The Travel industry lets you meet the most interesting people, and has seen me travelling to far flung places that I had never thought I would ever visit. But still, every golden opportunity has a flipside, and that is true for most jobs. For me? Endless nightshifts and missing half my children’s lives. Still, I wouldn’t change a thing.

So, I hear you ask, what has my career choices got to do with my writing? I used to be a stern ‘’I only read contemporary fiction’’ person. I read all the talked about novels, and found a few Authors that I enjoyed. I was a mother, a wife, a respected member of the School Parents association, and I worked two fulltime jobs. You can see what is coming next, can’t you?

Well. I discovered this rabbit hole of independently published short stories written exclusively for a web-based audience. What? You may say. Well you might know it better as Fanfiction.

I ended up reading Fanfiction exclusively and almost obsessively, amazing angst-filled stories, some of them rather brilliant, written by people like you and me who were building an obsessed following through chapter-by-chapter based publishing.

I read until my eyes bled. Then I started writing a few stories myself.

Some Authors will look down at Fanfiction writers, thinking it’s an easy little hobby to have. It can be, if you don’t mind spending hours and hours perfecting your work without the help of an editor, publishing it, only to have nobody read it. Fanfiction sites are saturated with stories, and only a few writers build a following. You have no way of promoting yourself, no way of making people read what you publish, and all you can do is cross your fingers and hope that someone will press that kudos button, and leave you a supportive comment. Some days are good. Other days you question your sanity.

I was lucky, and built a lovely following of readers, who interacted with me and pushed me to write more. It’s not a fairy-tale of any sorts, I was attacked by trolls, had people threaten me and hurl random abuse at me on social media for daring to make my characters do something they didn’t approve of. Traditional Authors have it easy, moaning over a few bad reviews on Goodreads. Bearing in mind that the age range of writers on Award winning Fanfiction platforms like AO3 range from early teens to late 80ies, the internet can be a terrifying place.

Back to my career choices. I decided to take my Fanfiction characters and push them further. I made them do silly things. I made them have awkward stupid sex. I made them straight, gay, pan, bi and in the end it didn’t matter. I made them feel, and I made them ache and I made them fall head over heels in love. They made terrifying mistakes, they said the wrong thing, they made the wrong choices, but they loved. Damn it, I made them fall in love, helplessly and endlessly so. I loved it. And I loved these stupid men who kept talking to me in my head, right back.

Fanfiction gives you a very narrow frame to develop your characters, and I started a new story where I introduced a few original characters to see if I could make my readers love them as much as the well-known names in the story. They luckily did. So, I took them out of the box, and gave them jobs. They became airline crew, worked in hotels, studied and taught. They nannied and travelled the world. See the pattern? I made them do all the things I had loved doing, and I am still finding new angles to push my boys even further. Having stepped over into traditional self-publishing, my stories are still coming, thick and fast and I now spend most of my downtime writing.

Ship-of-Fools

I have spent the last 20 years working as a flight attendant, or as we in the UK prefer to be called: Cabin crew. Glamourous! I hear you shout. You should write more Flight attendant stories! Romance in the air!

I have read a few Airline crew romances, and unfortunately, as you would do if you read a book about someone doing your job, you half cringe and half sweat and then shake your head and whisper ‘It doesn’t quite work like that!’.

The problem with believably writing about airline crew is simple. We just don’t know each other. We meet a few minutes before our prefight brief, then spend a day or two getting hurled across the planet in a whirlwind of turbulence, stale food, bodily fluids and sweat. Add a few tears and you can picture what we look like when we finally step through the door of the hotel room that will serve as our home for the night. You drop your ridiculous high heels by the door and sit yourself down on the toilet, greedily side-eyeing the Room Service menu despite the fact that you have spent the whole day picking at airline meals, whilst wondering where the bruise on your knee came from and if your tights will survive a handwash in the sink so you can wear them again tomorrow.

Your uniform has gained a few new suspicious stains, and you wish you could skip washing your hair, but it stinks of Eau-De-Boeing or such, and after a long hot shower (should you be lucky enough to be able to work out how the weird looking hotel shower works) and spending at least ten minutes staring at the air-conditioning unit thundering in your room wishing you had an axe so you could just spend some of that pent up frustration from dealing with the unpleasant human in 22D, by beating the shit out of it? You nosedive head first into the hotel bed, and you don’t even care to look under the pillow to see if there is a nasty bug left behind, nor do you have the strength to check for stray serial killers hiding under your snazzy looking hotel bed.

Now, this is when the fun part starts. This is usually when the husband texts you to find out where items A, B and C are, because he can’t be bothered to look, then Kid 1 Facetimes you to ask why you haven’t washed his hockey kit, it smells, apparently, and Kid 2 sends a message that his School Uniform is too small, again, can I order a new one? Kid 3 has to bring in some monstrosity home-made Roman fort for Monday, and can I help make it? Do we own any shoe boxes? The school has sent at least 3 memo’s that require my attention and on top of that? My favourite Author goes and drops a new release. So no, your average cabin crew member does not put her little cocktail dress on and she certainly doesn’t end up rat-arsed at the bar after a flight. Most of us sit in our rooms and micromanage our lives from a far, whilst our families seem to manage quite well without us. Apart from the missing dog collar and the fact that Kid 4 only has one school shoe because the puppy ate the other.

The next day, you are back in a metal tube with a bunch of strangers, and you have a right laugh for another day being hurled across oceans and landmasses back to base, and then you all air kiss and wave and call each other darling (mostly because after all this time you still can’t remember their names) and then? You never see each other again. You rarely make lasting friends, of course you do gel with some people, and hey, I met my husband, a dashing cabin crew member who flirted relentlessly with me over a trolley, and spilt hot tea on my hand before offering to take me on a date. So yes, true love does happen. Sometimes. It’s rare, but it does.

Scandinavian-ComfortSo, should I write an airline romance? Well, I kind of did. What if it all goes right? Is a short novella where three cabin crew members get themselves stuck in a triangle of confused feelings and hurt. This novella is available in KU if it takes your fancy, and the follow-up will land next year where you will meet the most hilarious messy gang of cabin crew. Fasten your seatbelts and get ready for Viking Airlines, coming to a kindle near you in late 2021.

So, to round this little essay up, do I actually write about what I know? The answer is yes. My books are full of imperfect human beings, who have big messy families, they work hard and play harder. My books are the place where things go wrong, but at the end of the day? My book people, they love each other, and their love lasts a lifetime. And I know all these characters really well. If you loved Little Harbour, the messy tale of Jens and Axel finding out that being a family is bloody hard, and that kids are not the perfect little humans we expect? You will laugh when I tell you that that book was written at my kitchen table, whilst my own brood argued and smeared themselves with Nutella, throwing food fights and arguing, as I ate cheese doodles and drank coffee. Those kids are all real, and they still all squat in the house I call home. Open Water is full of the professions of friends and family who endlessly supported me and answered all my weird questions. 717 miles? I spent two years as an Aupair in my youth, and Felix Mother Birgit? Ahem. I think I don’t need to say anymore. She is me, the best and the worst of my sometimes insane Mothering skills.

In this Bed of Snowflakes we Lie, was last year’s Christmas release, a story of a bunch of students sharing a University dorm in Oslo. There is Oskar, the nerdy runner who hides himself away to keep himself sane. There is the extroverted Erik, the ringleader of the cool guys, the golden boy with a seemingly endless line of friends. There is a family bound by love, where Christmas is all about laughter and food, yet there are secrets that need to be aired, and bravery that needs to be found. I hope that it will bring you a warm fuzzy feeling of holiday cheer as Erik and Oskar find their way in the world over a few weeks in December, where pizza is eaten, slippers are worn and snowflakes are falling all over the place.

This year? I decided to push myself harder and write a book about foolish Christmas dates, and ships that nobody knows how to captain. A little bit like myself and all of my brilliant ideas, this story spiralled helplessly out of control as Car sales manager Andreas pretty much hijacked himself into Luca Germano’s bed, head and heart. There was also some new to me kinky ideas that made their way onto paper, so please read the trigger warnings before you choke on your mulled wine. Ahem. The book contains neither ships or Captains, but refers to Plato’s Ship of Fools, of a crew where everyone tries to steer the ship when nobody actually knows what on earth they are doing. That summarizes the story in a very Christmassy little nutshell.

Ship of Fools is out on Dec 1.

I write what I know, and then sometimes I write about things I know absolutely nothing about. But it all turns out well in the end, I hope.

Stay safe and have a wonderful Christmas.

Thank you for reading,

Sophia Soames

London 2020


Excerpt:

I’m probably daydreaming again, because I didn’t notice him coming back, but there he is, standing in the doorway wearing… like every piece of clothing he owns. Joggers, jumper hoodie and a dressing gown on top. And socks. Like he is trying to hide inside a mountain of clothes. Or he might just have been really cold, despite the flat being nice and cosy.

“Do you own any more clothes to wear?” I say, and let a stupid giggle slip. “You could fit another coat on top… it’s Christmas, so perhaps gloves and hat?”

“This is not a hookup.” He says briskly, clearly not appreciating my silliness. He walks up and removes the teabag from the first mug. Then the other. Like he’s trying to help, yet his hands are shaking.

“This is not a hookup.” I say, slowly folding my arms over my chest. “This is a cup of tea and a biscuit in your flat. Nothing more, nothing else.”


Links to the books mentioned :

Mybook.to/LittleHarbour
Mybook.to/WIIAGR
Mybook.to/717miles
Mybook.to/OpenWater
Mybook.to/BedSnowflakes
Mybook.to/ShipofFools


Ships of FoolsAndreas Mitchell is single, stupid and bored, and should have a good long think about the amount of bad life choices he has made lately. Instead he heads straight for the one guy he knows will become his worst mistake yet.

Luca Germano makes no choices at all, instead he lives quietly in the background, and prefers the safety of his own hand to risking his heart. And someone as pretty and fearless as Andreas Mitchell, is the last person on earth he should let into his life.

Especially at Christmas.

This is a work of fantasy and fiction. This story contains descriptions of sexual roleplay and consensual violence, and elements of mild BDSM, which are not intended to be taken seriously, or imitate real life. Please read with caution if these
themes might trigger or upset you.

Find more stories from the fictional British town of Chistleworth, in Custard and Kisses (free to download from Prolific Works) and This thing with Charlie (part of the Winter Wonderland giveaway starting on Jan 1, 2021)


About Sophia:

Sophia Soames is a Scandinavian born, British Author who writes modern M/M fairy tales of love lost and found in the midst of life and family.  Her stories are all contemporary tales of real men who stumble their way awkwardly through life until they find their very own Happily Ever After.

She a mother of a bunch of feral kids, two fur babies and a never ending line of awesome AuPair’s who makes her life supremely and hilariously fantastic. She is married to Harry Styles….nah, not really, but her husband is pretty awesome too and quite happy to wear ballgowns on special occasions.

She has spent the last two years populating her Amazon KU account with stories of Single Fathers and Northern men in the Scandinavian Comfort series, Norwegian Aupairs in London in the 717miles books, and now the time has come to meet the men of the Fictional British town of Chistleworth. In Ship of Fools you will meet Luca and Andreas, as they figure out that sexual chemistry is the least of their concerns over Christmas. Look out for the free Chistleworth bonus story, where Charlie will get his happily ever after, coming in January as part of the Winter Wonderland giveaway. Finally the Short story Custard and Kisses is set in the same Chistleworth universe, and is available as a free download from Prolific Works.

Her next venture is a series set in the Clouds Hotel in London, where the glamour of a busy inner-city hotel, meets unexpected moments of love and lust.

Connect with Sophia on all social media platforms @sophiasoames.

FaceBook Reader’s Group: Sophia Soames’ Little Harbour.

I sincerely hope you enjoy Ship of Fools, and if you did? Feel free to connect, or leave a honest review on Amazon or Goodreads. I look forwards to hearing from you!

Stay safe. All the love, always. Sophia x

Guest Post | A Pint of Beer, A Bag of Chips, and Thou by JL Merrow

Guest-Post

Today, JL Merrow is here to talk about A Pint of Beer, A Bag of Chips, and Thou, and make sure to read all the way down to the end *wink*

Christmas Magic

In this troubled year, I think we all need a touch of whimsy and of magic for Christmas, and my short story with a long title, A Pint of Beer, A Bag of Chips, and Thou, has a little of both. Young punk Liam is a busker on London Underground, and he has a serious crush on the silver fox who tosses him some change every evening on his way home from work—although they’ve never spoken. But Liam’s unconventional family may just manage to work a little Christmas magic to bring him and Neil together!

There’s long been a connection between Christmas and the supernatural. Victorians loved to read ghost stories during the season, wrapped up warmly in front of a roaring fire. Charles Dickens, who is in many ways responsible for our ideal of a “proper” Christmas, had elements of the supernatural in his Christmas Books, the most famous of which is, of course, A Christmas Carol. My tale is rather more modern, but I hope it hits a similar balance in teasing the reader with a hint of magic, while still leaving deniability plausible!

Here’s a short excerpt from A Pint of Beer, A Bag of Chips, and Thou:

I walked into the living room three days before Christmas to find the coven was in full swing.

In case you’re thinking that sounds a bit weird, I should maybe mention I was raised by witches. Three of them, which anyone who’s read their Macbeth (or their Pratchett, for that matter) will know is the only sensible, or even possible, number of witches. I grew up with my Mum, my Aunty Des and Aunty Mags, all of us living together in the little house in Camden that used to belong to my Granny, God rest her. I’m Liam, by the way. Pleasure to make your acquaintance. I’m the one solitary male in the household, unless you count the cats. And to be honest, they’re not as male as they used to be, poor things.

There is, in fact, a fourth sister, my Aunty Gerry. Rejected by the coven on the cruel grounds of numerical superfluity, she became an Anglican priest to spite them. Well, that’s how she tells it, anyway, although I can’t say I’ve noticed a great deal of spite in their relationships.

“I pray for their souls every night,” Aunty Gerry told me piously one evening not so long ago, before collapsing into very un-Reverend-like cackles and passing the gin.

A Pint of Beer, A Bag of Chips, and Thou

A_Pint_of_Beer_a_Bag_of_Chips_and_Thou_200x300

What’s the best gift a young, single man could receive for Christmas? Mohawked punk Liam wouldn’t have picked the hideous collection of homemade knitwear he’s presented with by his well-meaning mum and aunties. He’d much rather have the gorgeous older man he sees every day while busking at King’s Cross station. Liam’s been doing his best to seduce the guy with his saxophone playing—the trouble is, with the holidays coming up, he’s beginning to despair of his message getting through.

But with a little Christmas magic in the air, maybe those garish garments will be just the thing for attracting the attention of a silver fox…

JMS Books | Amazon 

 

This story is also available as part of the Stocking Stuffers bundle, and in the Winter Warmers and A Flirty Dozen anthologies.You can read a FREE mini-coda to this story on my website

JL Merrow is that rare beast, an English person who refuses to drink tea. She writes award-winning contemporary gay romance and mysteries, and is frequently accused of humour.

Find JL Merrow online at: https://jlmerrow.com/, on Twitter as @jlmerrow, and on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/jl.merrow

 

And for those who’ve read this far: I’m offering a free e-copy of A Pint of Beer, A Bag of Chips, and Thou to a randomly chosen commenter on this post. All you have to do to be in with a chance is to answer this question: Ugly Christmas sweaters: yes or no?

I’ll make the draw around teatime on Sunday 6th December, so be quick!

 

Release Day | 24 Dates by Ofelia Gränd

Release Day

It’s release day!!!

24 Dates was supposed to be a short Christmas story. I don’t know what I was thinking. The idea always was to write twenty-four dates, so I should’ve understood it wasn’t gonna turn out to be a 10k story. I should have, and yet I was surprised when it got be 38k.

Ah, well… 38k isn’t too long, and I had a great time writing it. I’m probably the least romantic person you’ve come across, so coming up with twenty-four dates wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t super hard either. I’m a bit sad that I’ve cleaned away the note where I scribbled down my ideas – I had ideas I didn’t use! LOL

In this story, we have Victor and Jian who’ve been a couple for years. Everything should be great. They’ve bought a house, moved to a new town, and should be in their happily ever after, but they’re not.

Jian is working all the time, and Victor hardly sees him awake anymore. They don’t talk, they don’t touch, and Victor fears they won’t last. Jian isn’t willing to give up, though. He has a plan – 24 Dates to woo his man.

24 Dates is an Up North story which means it’s standalone, contemporary, and takes place somewhere up north.

Excerpt:

“Are you ready?”

Victor jumped. He’d been too occupied with his date planning to notice Jian coming out through the front door. “For?”

“Our date, of course.” A quick grin appeared on Jian’s lips before disappearing again, and Victor’s heart sped up. Damn, he’s hot.

“Erm… I guess it depends on what we’re doing. Do I need to change?” He gestured at himself. “Pee?”

“Pee might be good if you need to. There are no restrooms where we’re going. And put on shoes that don’t get wet…and maybe a beanie so you don’t freeze.”

Victor studied his expression for a second. “We’re going to be outdoors?”

Jian nodded, and Victor nodded in return before hurrying inside, rushing to the bathroom, changing shoes, putting on a beanie, and pushing some gloves into his pocket.

When he came back out again, Jian hadn’t rolled out the car. “Aren’t we going?”

“We are. We’re walking.” He offered Victor his arm.

Walking? Were they going to the cafe? “On Tuesday, do you have anything planned?”

Jian narrowed his eyes. “Why?”

“Sara and Jonas, at work, usually go out to grab a pizza and a beer at some point each month or every couple of weeks or so, and they asked if I wanted to come.”

Jian’s dark eyes sparkled. “You should go. I know you haven’t found anyone to hang out with here, and I’ve been worried about it. You’re a social guy.”

Victor stared and allowed Jian to guide him down the sidewalk and back toward the school again. Jian had worried? Victor hadn’t known. But Jian was right, he normally had a lot of friends, but he’d… he didn’t know why, but he hadn’t had the energy. He’d only wanted to spend time with Jian, but Jian hadn’t been available. Perhaps Victor had been blind; perhaps it was how their relationship had always been, only he hadn’t noticed before because he’d been too busy having a life of his own.

No, before they’d moved here, they’d done things together. They’d had sex regularly, and a kiss hadn’t been something Victor had to analyze. Kisses had been part of everyday life, not like now, when a kiss was so rare, it made Victor nervous to initiate one.

“Don’t you want to go with them?”

“What?” Victor’s eyes flew to Jian’s. “I do, why?”

“You were frowning.”

“Ah…” He grinned. “I was thinking.”

“About?”

Victor took a deep breath. Did he want to ruin the date? No, but… “How we got here.”

“We walked.” Jian winked but seriousness wiped away the sparkles from his eyes. “I’ve been working too much, and you’ve been acclimating to our new home and your new job.”

“We’ve lived here for two years, Jian. How much acclimating does a person need?”

“I read a study claiming it takes about five years before you’ve built up a new social circle after you’ve moved somewhere. I didn’t break up from my old life. Or I did—I don’t hang out with our friends back in Cortland like we used to, but I still have the guys at work. You started over.”

“Yes, but we have each other, or we should have had each other.”

Jian nodded. “I’m sorry, babe.”

Victor nodded, his throat grew tight. He wanted to blame it all on Jian, but they were two in this relationship, and maybe he hadn’t done what he could to make it work.

Jian tugged at his arm and had them turn off the road going through the town center. First, one tiny snowflake slowly descended toward the ground, then more and more followed. Jian steered them toward the graveyard. They walked along the thick stone wall, and Victor held his breath as he took in the sea of lit candles. “Wow. Is it a special holiday?”

“I don’t think so.” Jian opened a wrought-iron gate and held it open for him. The graveyard was deserted apart from one old woman standing by a grave farther in.

“What are we doing here?” Victor whispered, not wanting to disturb the peace.

“We’re on a date.”

“In a graveyard?”

Jian wiggled his eyebrows, amusement shining in his eyes. “Do you know of a more beautiful place in Northfield?”

Victor breathed in deep, tasting the winter night. The candles looked like a starry sky had fallen to the ground, and the snow slowly came down in big flakes. “No.”

They walked up one of the trails and Victor squinted to read the large gravestones. This was an old part of the graveyard—the bigger the stone, the more important the person. “Look at this.” He tugged at Jian’s arm. “This man was the mayor. I didn’t know Northfield had a mayor.”

“We don’t anymore, I don’t think.”

“So cool.”

They walked past one grave after the other and all stress melted away from Victor. The winter wonderland stretched before him, all the beautiful wreaths and poinsettias people had left for their loved ones, the soft glow of the candles. “This is amazing.”

“Come.” Jian sat on a bench and held out his arm for Victor to sit next to him. Once he did, Jian pulled out a thermos cup from his inner pocket.

“We’re not getting drunk in a graveyard, are we?” Victor made wide eyes.

“No. I’ll save it for Halloween.” Jian chuckled. “It’s hot chocolate. I was looking at recipes for some cool Christmassy drinks, but there aren’t many hot ones, and we didn’t have the ingredients needed, so hot chocolate it is.”

“It’s perfect.”

Jian handed him the cup and pulled out another one from another pocket. Victor laughed. “Do you have anything else in there?”

“Why don’t you check?”

Victor chuckled and sipped on the chocolate. “This is beautiful.”

24 Dates in the JMS shop (20% off)

books2read.com/24Dates


24datesWhen Victor Hill bought a house with his boyfriend, Jian Kouri it was a dream come true. But now, two years later, instead of living their happily ever after, they hardly see the other awake.

With Jian out the door before Victor gets up in the morning, and asleep on the couch nearly as soon as he walks in the door, the life Victor imagined couldn’t be further from reality. They don’t talk; they don’t touch, and Victor fears he and Jian have already drifted too far apart.

The holiday season is a time for hope, but when Victor comes home to find Jian with a plan to woo him for Christmas, is it too little, too late? The dates are great, and there are filled with Christmas fun to get Victor in the right spirit for the holiday, but are they enough for the two of them to fall in love again? Or is there just too much in their relationship that needs fixing?