What makes you roll your eyes?

What clichés do you find in M/M Romance?
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If you read a lot of M/M Romance, I bet there are things you come across more often than you’d want to in your books. Things that will make you sigh, or roll your eyes, or maybe you put away the book for good. Or are you one of those who read all the tropes and clichés with a smile on your lips?

A little while ago I came across a thread in the M/M Romance Group on Goodreads where readers, and writers for that matter, listed tropes recurring in the romance books we read. I had a laugh reading it and went to search for more—yes, I researched tropes and clichés in M/M Romance. I found one thread in The Backlot Gay Forum, also on Goodreads, and I found a blog post written by Harry K. Malone about names on the main characters he never again wanted to see in M/M Romance.

So what I did was to put together a list of the things I found and then I wrote a story including as many of them as I could possibly piece together. Yesterday Once in a Snowstorm was published! Not nearly all tropes I could find are included, but if you read it, I promise you you’ll find quite a few. Not all are included in the list below either, but this is the list I had next to my laptop while writing:

Tropes and clichés in M/M Romance

The main characters:

•    Occupation: Gay comes with the uniform—Cop, Fireman, Paramedic, Doctor, Soldier. But let’s not forget the Bartenders, Bookstore owners, Lawyers, Actors, and Cowboys. (And the bottom can be a nurse if he wants to.)
•    Eyes: There is either one character with green eyes or one with specks of gold in his. There will also be ridiculously long lashes (that any girl would kill for.)
•    Smell: He smells of cinnamon, or he smells of musk, man, and sometimes he even smells of himself.

Bottom:

•    He doesn’t have much body hair, if any.
•    He listens to pop music (often ABBA).
•    He has a bubble butt and slender hips.
•    He’s short and quite often a nerd.
•    He has a long, slender, pink dick.
•    He has soft curly hair.
•    He will die without coffee in the morning.

Top:

•    He has a lot of body hair.
•    He listens to classic rock.
•    He’s tall, at a minimum 6 feet, but often 6’3.
•    He’s a real man so he drinks beer.
•    He has broad shoulders, tiny waist, and long legs.
•    He has a thick, veiny cock

Secondary characters:

•    A red-haired female BFF, either wispy thin or curvy.
•    A female friend or relative who will explain to the MC that he’s in love (Men are apparently too stupid to know for themselves.)

What they do:

•    Watch Die Hard.
•    On a first date, at least, one of the MCs dress in khaki trousers and a button-down shirt.
•    They eat Chinese take-out.
•    In a D/s relationship, the Dom tells the sub “not to swear.”

Sex scenes:

•    Suddenly magically skilled in bed: The virgin performs every sex act he tries perfectly.
•    The life-altering prostate stimulation: the MC somewhat reluctantly is the “receiver” and gets his prostate stimulated. Then he never ever want to have any other kind of sex ever again.
•    First time bottoming: “Oh, it hurts, I think I’m gonna die” and then there’s one brush over the prostate, pain turns into pleasure, and all he wants is more, more, more!

Blowjob:

•    “Creamed my pants ‘cause you’re so hot.” When the giver comes from giving head, only.

Penetration scene:

•    Scrambling for lube and condom in the bedside table drawer or under the mattress.
•    Applies lube, and presses through the “ring of muscles” or “pucker.”
•    Dick “hard as a diamond”, “hard enough to pound nails”, or maybe it can “cut glass”.
•    The one, two, three fingers, followed by cock.
•    “You’re so tight” or if you’d rather “So hot, so tight.”
•    He thrust one, two, three more times…
•    Then comes “the ropes of cum” or the “hot cum” (that you’ll feel the hotness of through the condom).

Expression:

•    Molten lava: “Anger burning like molten lava.” “Heated gaze like molten lava.”
•    “Oh so responsive” (about the bottom)
•    Being a “Boy Scout” when lube and condom are readily produced.

Themes:

•    Gay for You
•    Insta-Dad needs boyfriend: When a guy becomes orphaned and has to take care of younger siblings, or when a man becomes a widower (often merged with GFY).
•    Fuck buddies become boyfriends.
•    BDSM cures All: OCD, ADD, and extreme shyness can be cured by finding a Dom who tells you how to act.
•    The Healing Power of Sperm: Characters is broken/devastated (often raped), but as soon as he comes into contact with the love interest’s sperm all his fears and problems are cured.
•    Smartass twinks and dumb tops who finds them funny.
•    The alpha male who sweeps us off our feet (and rescues the bottom.)
•    The story takes place on a deserted island, or somewhere where the characters are snowbound or trapped in an isolated place.

Is there anything you think I need to add to the list?


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Can you find wood in a snowstorm?

Daring a snowstorm might not be the smartest thing Aiden has ever done, but he can’t stand being in his flat a moment longer. With only three days to Christmas, he doesn’t want to be alone. He wants a place to belong, wants people around him who won’t look down on him. He might not find all that at his mother’s place, but at least it’s better than being alone in the city. If he can make it there, that is.

Tristan is looking forward to a quiet night in front of the TV, but instead, he has to save an idiot in designer clothes from freezing to death in his forest. Tristan tries not to notice the man’s good looks, just like he has tried not to notice any man’s good looks for the last seven years. He knows where relationships go and is far better off living alone, with his dog, in his cabin.

Aiden is driving Tristan mad with his bratty comments and irresponsible ways, and Aiden is going crazy from Tristan’s judgmental attitude. Luckily, in a few days, the weather will clear up, and the two men won’t have to be together any longer. But will a few steamy nights with the grumpy lumberjack change Aiden’s mind about wanting to leave? And will Tristan still want to go back to his peaceful, predictable life without fear of getting his heart broken?

books2read.com/Snowstorm

Once in a Snowstorm

photo credit: smoking leather via photopin (license)

Book Cover Once in a Snowstorm by Ofelia Gränd


Summer Bigger Than Others

It’s release day!!! Again. After this it’ll be quiet for a while, but for now—release day, yay! I haven’t talked much about Dazzle Me, my contribution to the Summer Bigger Than Others anthology, but it’s a story I really enjoyed writing. It’s short and light-hearted. Tom, a grumpy mechanic, who wants to surprise his boyfriend with the best anniversary ever. Things do not turn out the way Tom had planned, and he had spent months planning. Instead he finds himself on a plane to Bangkok and Tom hates flying…among other things.

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“You’ll never guess what happened today!” Santino was bouncing on the balls of his feet, gesturing wildly. God, he looked young when he was fluttering about like that. Right in the middle of his sentence he decided it was time to come inside. I managed to dodge his waving hands as he squeezed his way into my flat, completely unaware of the hazard his flailing was causing.

“Er…”

“Mr. Angello—” he went up on tiptoe and gave me a quick peck “—asked me to come to a meeting today.”

Mr. Angello? Half of Santino’s family worked at the same firm, so it was a bit hard to know which Mr. Angello he was talking about, but given his excitement… “Enrico?”

“Yes, Enrico.” He added some impatient flapping to make his point.

“Then why didn’t you just say—”

“Oh, for God’s sake, Tommy-boy!” My skin prickled as I pursed my lips. Tommy-boy. What grown man would ever accept being called Tommy-boy? “Enrico, my uncle—Mr. Angello—asked me to join them in the big-boy meeting room today. And guess what? You’ll never guess.” He sucked in a breath of air—apparently he did run out of oxygen every now and then. “We’re going to Thailand!”

“No.” We were not going to Thailand. I would not be going to Thailand, not now, not ever. It was out of the question.

“Please…” He flashed his hazel eyes at me, almost compelling me to give in on the spot, but no.

“No. I don’t want to go to Thailand, I’ve never wanted to go to Thailand, and I don’t think I’ll ever want to go to Thailand.”

“Why do you always have to be so grumpy?”

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books2read.com/DazzleMe *


books2read.com/SummerBigger *

Beaten Track authors present fourteen short summer reads filled with friendship, romance and, of course, enough heat to make your ice lolly dribble.

Summer Bigger Than Others takes you away to your own private island of diverse stories that will make your summer days sweet, sizzling and sexy.

From relaxing on a sandy beach or hiking in the great outdoors, to nights at the opera or days at the strawberry farm, an adrenaline-shooting roller coaster rush awaits.

Make this summer the best it’s ever been; make it bigger than all the others.

THE STORIES:

Aligning North – K.C. Faelan
Aloha? Oy! – Jonathan Penn
Anything or Nothing – Terry Kerr
Dazzle Me – Ofelia Gränd
Fang and Fortune – L.L. Bucknor
Finally – Amelia Mann
Home is Where the Hard is – Caraway Carter
Offline – L.M. Steel
Ribbons and Frills – Claire Davis and Al Stewart
Roller Coaster – J P Walker
The Strawberry Farm – Victoria Milne
Ultimate Summer – Alexis Woods
Waking Up in Vegas – Hunter Frost
Will…You Have Me(?) – Shayla Mist


* By clicking the Books2Read link you’ll be taken to an external page. Links to Smashwords, Kobo U.S and Amazon contain affiliate links that earn me a small commission at no additional cost to you. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

 

Publication of Blood on Sand

It’s been a hectic week. I’ve bought a house, Blood on Sand was published on the second of June, and today I got the news that my flash Apart From You will be included in Queer Sci-Fi’s anthology, Discovery. The e-book will be sold at different sites and at Rainbow con for fundraising and publicity purposes for QSF.

But today I wanted to talk a little about Blood on Sand, my contribution to this year’s Don’t Read in the Closet event Love is an Open Road.

BloodonSandSmallCoverZoe is an enslaved lizard shifter. Every week he has to fight in an arena much like a modern gladiator. Wojtek is the alpha of the werewolf pack running the arena, he’s also Zoe’s owner. Wojtek can’t see the lizards as anything other than pawns to be used to bring in money to the pack. But when Zoe tries to force Wojtek into killing him things change.

This yearly event is organised by Goodreads M/M Romance Group. 200 stories are published between the first of June and the first of September. And they’re all free!

If you’re a member of the group, you can go here to download them. Many of the stories make their way to Amazon and Smashwords as well.

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Now to a little snippet!

Zoe fell to his knees. Every wheezing breath burned in his chest, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. It would all be over soon. The harsh glare from the spotlight made it hard to see anything beyond the blood-soaked sand in front of him, but it didn’t matter. If he could endure only a few more seconds, a few more agonising breaths, it would all be over.

The cheering and booing turned into a buzzing sound and faded into the background. Spots swam before his eyes, and he could no longer see what was happening around him. It didn’t matter. He’d done what he set out to do, and now he would die.

His opponent coughed and gasped behind him, still crawling around, but unable to get to his feet. He would live—if his master let him. Zoe lowered his wooden shield and broken spear, and waited for the strike to come. He kept his gaze down; he didn’t need to see the top dog’s face to know he was furious. His powerful claws were probably curled around the stone railing separating the spectators from the combatants at that very moment. The heavily muscled arms, or whatever they called their forelimbs, could snap his neck. He didn’t think that would happen, though. Using his claws to rip Zoe’s throat out would be far more entertaining—and people came here to be amused. Blood splatter would fly through the air, raining down on the viewers closest to him while he twitched and bled out on the arena floor. They would cheer in their growly way, and everyone would be happy with the result. Almost everyone. Even his hazy mind could sort out that the Alpha wouldn’t be pleased.

He lowered his head and waited. Could he have done anything differently? It seemed like an awful lot of work just to get killed. He could have just cheated, stopped defending himself, but his pride wouldn’t let him. This too was cheating in a way; fights were always to the death and he hadn’t killed, nor had he been killed, yet. This felt more honourable in some way. Why he even cared, he didn’t know.

The snarls coming from the first row of the tiered seating penetrated the buzzing in his head. He didn’t understand these beasts in their changed forms, but he could sense their wrath.

What was taking them so long? It should be over by now. He’d forced their hand, and there was no other way out. They would have to kill him. If they didn’t, they would lose face, and he knew they’d never let that happen. He would’ve smiled if he’d been able to in his lizard form. But he wasn’t, and it didn’t matter anyway. It would soon be over. He would finally be free.

If you want to continue reading you’ll find Blood on Sand here:

books2read.com/BloodOnSand *

Blood on Sand


* By clicking the Books2Read link you’ll be taken to an external page. Links to Smashwords, Kobo U.S and Amazon contain affiliate links that earn me a small commission at no additional cost to you. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.