It’s release day! Once in May is now live.  

I’ve said it before, but this is one of my favourites of the stories I’ve written. You always have those stories that are extra dear to you, or I do at least. 

Once in May is a past abused story, one of those hurt-comfort stories with a traumatised guy finding peace with a gentle giant… or a huge lumberjack, you know the kind LOL. 

It was first published back in 2016 – that’s a long time ago. It doesn’t feel that long ago. I wrote it back-to-back to The Egg Hunt. John is the one who finds Jason’s missing dog and shuts the door in Tristan and Tom’s faces when they come to get him. And at the end, we get a glimpse of John speeding away from the Easter celebrations before anyone arrives.  

John doesn’t like gatherings, and he doesn’t like people. Zach likes John though, and since he’s set on getting John to talk to him, poor John doesn’t have much of a choice. 

Excerpt:

John hid in the pasta aisle. The fluorescent lamps above did nothing to make the huge man blocking the path to the checkout appear any smaller.

There was a reason John did his grocery shopping on Friday evenings, and that man was ruining it. The shop was supposed to be empty, and yet, there he was. A mountain of a man—one of the sort who could pin John down with no effort at all.

He hadn’t seen John. He simply stood there, reading on his phone with a bag of potatoes in his hand and a bottle of ketchup under a heavily muscled arm, as if there wasn’t a problem in the world. And John guessed, for him, there wasn’t.

How would he get out? He couldn’t walk past him; it was too risky. And even if he made it past him without trouble, the man would come up behind John by the checkout counter…or outside.

As quietly as he possibly could, he took a few steps away from the giant—

Wrong move. Intense blue eyes shot up from the screen and landed on him.

John swallowed, tried to move, but was frozen to the spot.

“Sorry, am I in your way?” Of course, his voice had to be a deep rumble. A shiver travelled down John’s spine. He didn’t want to think about what it would sound like when he got angry, or how those fists would bruise and shatter his face if they ever tore into him.

The man stepped a little closer to the shelf, gave a nod as if he expected John to walk past him and went back to reading on his phone.

John couldn’t move. It was so easy for a man that size to grab him. Standing where he was wouldn’t keep him safe, but at least he hadn’t walked up to the man voluntarily.

A few seconds ticked by, and the man looked at him again. His gaze swept over him from head to toe. Probably thinking about what he’ll do to him once they were out of there. John’s ribcage tightened; he couldn’t move. He stood there, slowly suffocating while waiting for the man to make his move.

When nothing happened John almost screamed at him to get it over with. The waiting was worse than the pain, worse than the humiliation.

Then the man put away his phone and smiled. “Well, it was interesting meeting you.” He nodded, stroked his full beard, and…left.

John stood, unmoving. His pulse was ringing in his ears, and his knees wanted to buckle.

He would be waiting outside.

Tears wanted to rise in his eyes but he pushed them away. Tears didn’t help; tears had never saved him; tears wouldn’t take away the pain.

Shit, it had been good. He’d been doing…maybe not well, but better. For three years, he’d let himself believe Nortown was a place he could stay, a place where he would be left alone. But it was over now. He’d seen interest in the man’s eyes, had seen that he was about to say something as he’d stroked his beard.

Gregor hadn’t had a beard.

John slammed his eyes shut. He was not going to think about Gregor. Not now, not here. He heard the man talking to Chris by the till, but he couldn’t hear what they said, couldn’t make out the words over the buzz in his ears. He should run, put his shopping basket down and head for the emergency exit.

His feet wouldn’t move.

Time stood still, and yet minutes must have passed, because the voices had gone silent. John glanced at his watch: five to nine. The shop would be closing in five minutes. He forced himself to move to the checkout.

Chris rang his stuff up. His lips were moving, but John couldn’t hear him. He nodded and hoped it fitted whatever he had said. Chris gave him a concerned look, but John ignored it and stuffed his things in a bag.

As he was walking out the door, Jen came bundling through it and almost knocked him to the ground.

“Oh my God, John. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He took a calming breath.

“No, I should’ve been more careful. I just wanted to grab a bag of crisps before Chris closed.”

“It’s okay.” He liked Jen, but right at that moment, he only wanted to get out of there. Or maybe he could cling to her and the giant wouldn’t touch him…for now.

“Hey, Tristan and Luke are up in my flat. We’re about to watch a movie. Do you want to come?”

He didn’t mean to shake his head as frantically as he did, but there was no stopping the terror following the thought of sharing a sofa with Tristan.

“It’s okay, another time. Oh, and Jason will be working in the café. I’ll be there most days, but he’s taking Fridays. I thought you might want to know.” Concern, he hated the concern shining in her eyes, and yet he was grateful she had informed him. “He’s off on Mondays,” she added before she reached for his arm. She stopped herself before she made contact, and John told himself he was grateful. He didn’t do well with touch, but he hated what it did to Jen. He could tell she wanted to reach out, to pat his shoulder, maybe even give him a hug. He took a step away from her.

“Thanks for letting me know.” His mumble was low.

“Anytime, sweetie. See you Monday?” She looked expectantly at him, and he gave her one short nod.

It was dark outside; the evening air was cool against his skin. He gripped his bag tighter, trying not to feel the chill spreading in his gut. He’d almost forgotten about the man while he’d been talking to Jen. Almost. Now, he was waiting for the large, rough hands to grab him. He couldn’t see anyone, his jeep was in sight, but not the man. It didn’t mean he wasn’t hiding somewhere in the shadows.

John crossed the road to the parking and sprinted the last few steps while clutching his bag. One lone street lamp cast its yellow light over the mostly empty asphalt square. John fumbled with his keys. He looked around, strived to see behind him at the same time as pushing the key into the lock.

Any second now, he was sure they would come—the hands. He hoped it would be quick. Sometimes Gregor had been quick; sometimes he had taken his time.

The door opened, and John climbed in. He shut the door and hit the lock button. Hugging the bag to his chest, he checked the rear-view mirror as his heartbeats thumped in his ears.

There was no one around.

Blurb:

In an attempt to run from his past, John Welsh has spent the last few years building walls around himself. He knows the best way to stay safe is to keep people at arm’s length and preferably out of sight. During weak moments, he might wish he had someone, but he’s not ready. After all, it takes seven years for the body to replace all its cells. He has four years to go before he’s new.

Zachary Fane is always on the move, always on his way to somewhere. He’s going from job to job, from country to country. Contrary to what people might think, he wants nothing more than to find a place to call home, and he knows just where. This time, he is ready. This time, he will stay in Nortown. This time, things will be different. But when he arrives to buy the log cabin he believed would be his, he finds it inhabited. When he goes to talk to the new owner, he is met by the most beautiful green eyes followed by a door slammed in his face.

John should’ve known the peace he’s found in Nortown wouldn’t last. One day everything is fine, the next a mountain of a man shows up wherever he goes. All Zachary wants is to be close to the quiet man who has moved into his cabin. If following him around is the only way, then so be it. Sooner or later, John will get used to having him there … at least, if Zachary hangs around long enough.

Includes the short story, “Honey Baked.”

Buy links:

Contemporary gay romance: 47,776 words

JMS Books :: Amazon :: books2read.com/OnceInMay

It’s time for character introductions again! I had a hard time filling out the forms this time. This is one of my favourite stories that I’ve written, and yet I could hardly say anything about the characters – I blame the way the cards are formulated. 

We have John and Zachary. That I don’t know their exact age is my fault, can’t really blame anyone else, can I? I write that Zach is nearing forty, that he’s ‘ten years, if not more’ older than John, and Jen says John looks young, but that she’d guess he’s over twenty-five.  

When it comes to what they love – both want the cabin John is living in. It’s where John feels safe, and where he wants to spend his time, and it’s where Zach sees his future. 

Hate – that’s a hard one. Why did I choose to include that on the cards?? John is terrified of everyone, it doesn’t really mean he hates them, but I guess he hates situations where he has to interact with people. And Zach, he doesn’t hate his parents, he hates that they can’t accept him for who he is. But that didn’t fit on that short line LOL 

When it comes to strengths and weaknesses, John is dealing with past trauma, he’s not really in a position where he shows off his strengths. He’s a survivor, though. Zach is a friendly guy, most people like him, and he cares about those around him, but as soon as things get tricky, he bails. He lives out of a backpack, never staying more than a couple of months in one place. 

So there’s where we have them. John is a scrawny little thing, and Zach is a big, bearded man. John hides in the corners of a room and Zach takes up space. But Zach is a gentle giant, and he might turn slightly stalkerish when John doesn’t want to talk to him, but what are you gonna do? LOL 

Blurb:

In an attempt to run from his past, John Welsh has spent the last few years building walls around himself. He knows the best way to stay safe is to keep people at arm’s length and preferably out of sight. During weak moments, he might wish he had someone, but he’s not ready. After all, it takes seven years for the body to replace all its cells. He has four years to go before he’s new.

Zachary Fane is always on the move, always on his way to somewhere. He’s going from job to job, from country to country. Contrary to what people might think, he wants nothing more than to find a place to call home, and he knows just where. This time, he is ready. This time, he will stay in Nortown. This time, things will be different. But when he arrives to buy the log cabin he believed would be his, he finds it inhabited. When he goes to talk to the new owner, he is met by the most beautiful green eyes followed by a door slammed in his face.

John should’ve known the peace he’s found in Nortown wouldn’t last. One day everything is fine, the next a mountain of a man shows up wherever he goes. All Zachary wants is to be close to the quiet man who has moved into his cabin. If following him around is the only way, then so be it. Sooner or later, John will get used to having him there … at least, if Zachary hangs around long enough.

Includes the short story, “Honey Baked.”

Buy links:

Contemporary gay romance: 47,776 words

JMS Books :: Amazon :: books2read.com/OnceInMay

It’s release day! I’m writing those words a lot nowadays (a rather pleasant thing LOL). Today, Aiden and Tristan is released. It’s a collection of all the Aiden and Tristan stories – Once in a Snowstorm, The Empty Egg, Happy Endings and Just Words. 

I feel like I’ve already talked about this book a lot here on the blog, so I think I’ll jump directly to an excerpt so I don’t bore you by repeating things. If you want more, you can read about the characters here and a bit about what to expect going in here.  

Excerpt:

Tristan placed the semiconscious man on one of the kitchen chairs. He seemed to wake up all right, but he still hadn’t said anything. Og was walking in circles, wagging his tail and sniffing the stranger’s shoes. The stupid dog would’ve done a happy dance if an axe murderer showed up in the middle of the night, although hopefully his barks were enough to scare away anyone with ill intent.

Tristan glanced around his cabin, trying to figure out how best to get the man warm and dry before sending him on his way. The wood-burning stove was in the middle of the room and worked as a divider between what Tristan liked to call his living room and his kitchen area—in all honesty it was one rather big room with a kitchenette in the far end. He had always thought his log cabin was big enough—at least for him and Og—but with a stranger sitting at the two-seat table, it seemed confined.

Keeping a watchful eye on his visitor, Tristan pushed the worn sofa closer to the stove. “You can start to undress while I go fetch something dry for you.”

For the first time, those green eyes seemed to realise Tristan was there. Some of the fog in them disappeared, and they widened as the man took in his surroundings.

No point waiting for a response, Tristan threw a few logs in the stove and went upstairs—in reality it was more a ladder than a staircase—to find some clothes for the man. The upper floor consisted of one tiny room, where he had to crawl over the bed to get to the other side. It was impossible to walk around it; the angled ceiling was so low, the only place he could stand without banging his head was in the middle, but it was enough for him. He didn’t need more than a place to sleep.

He ruffled through the pile of clean laundry he kept on a chair in the corner of the bedroom. He didn’t have a closet; he hadn’t seen the need since he moved in here, seven years ago. All his clothes fitted on a chair, so why bother building a wardrobe? It wouldn’t fit in this room anyway.

He found a pair of dark-blue sweatpants and a cotton jumper, a pair of cotton socks and a pair of boot socks to go over them—the guy could keep his own underwear on or freeball. Tristan would not be lending a pair to a complete stranger.

He returned downstairs to find Og with his head resting in the stranger’s lap, gazing into those emerald-green eyes. Tristan shook his head at the dog and addressed the man, who seemed more alert now, although he was still out of it.

“Why haven’t you undressed? You need to get out of those clothes.” If he sounded annoyed it was because he was. He’d been looking forward to a night in front of the TV, sprawled on the sofa with Og. Now he had to take care of an imbecile in designer clothes who thought a stroll in a snowstorm was a splendid idea.

Tristan clenched his jaw and watched the man slowly raise his hands and look around him in confusion. “Come on, get going.”

“Erm…” The man started coughing. “Who are you?”

Tristan wanted to roll his eyes, but he didn’t. “I’m the superhero who saved you from freezing to death in the snow.”

“Oh…” The man’s hands shook as he tried to grip the little metal tag on the zip of his jacket—his too-thin jacket.

Tristan sighed. He wasn’t normally a bastard, but something about this man infuriated him. Without another word, he placed the dry clothes on the kitchen table and started to undress the stranger. He could hear his teeth chattering even though he had his mouth shut. A pang of worry went through Tristan. He had to get him out of his wet clothes and onto the sofa in front of the stove.

Tristan worked quickly; he needed to get something warm inside the man to raise his core temperature. Soup, Tristan thought. He’d bought a three-pack of instant soup a while back—mushroom, if he remembered correctly. Why, he didn’t know. He hated instant soup. It tasted like flour. Perhaps he should cook some broth. He had some root vegetables and venison, but it would take too long. Later, maybe.

The skin on the guy’s hairless chest was so cold it almost hurt Tristan’s hands to touch. He didn’t touch more than necessary, but the buttons in the thin cotton shirt wouldn’t unbutton themselves. What the hell possessed someone to go walking in a blizzard without adequate clothing?

Tristan stretched his back and handed the dry jumper over. “Put that on and take off your jeans. They’re soaked.”

Tristan put the sweatpants on the kitchen table and turned to go find the soup. The stranger wasn’t moving, never mind putting on the jumper or sweatpants. His gaze was glued to his screaming-red hands.

“Hey!” Tristan snapped his fingers, and those green eyes met his. “Put the jumper on.”

The man nodded and raised his arms in an uncoordinated manner. Tristan held in a sigh—it wasn’t the man’s fault he was frozen to the bone…or wait a minute, yes it was! He reached for the jumper anyway and pulled it over the man’s head. The dark locks had dried somewhat, and a few of them bounced as his head slipped through the neck of the jumper.

Tristan tried not to notice the bouncing curls or the green eyes. He had tried not to notice things like that for the last seven years, and he would continue trying not to notice them in the future as well.

In one harsh movement, he yanked the man into a standing position. He unbuttoned the fly, not noticing how the few hairs on his lower abdomen caressed his knuckles as he tackled one button at a time. When the buttons were done, he grabbed the waistband and pulled. The wet fabric clung to the man’s slender hips, bringing the light-blue bikini briefs with them on the way down. Tristan looked away. He did not want to see shrivelled bits. One glance told him that shrivelled as they might be, they were still mighty fine dangling right in front of his eyes.

Blurb:

Daring a snowstorm might not be the smartest thing Aiden Evans has ever done, but he can’t stand being in his flat a moment longer. With only three days to Christmas, he doesn’t want to be alone. He wants a place to belong, wants people around him who won’t look down on him. He might not find that at his mother’s place, but it’s better than being alone in the city. If he can make it there, that is.

Tristan Gardner is looking forward to a quiet night in front of the TV, but instead, he has to save an idiot in designer clothes from freezing to death in his forest. Tristan tries not to notice the man’s good looks, just like he has tried not to notice any man’s good looks for the last seven years. He knows where relationships go and is far better off living alone, with his dog, in his cabin.

Aiden is driving Tristan mad with his bratty comments and irresponsible ways, and Aiden is going crazy from Tristan’s judgmental attitude. Luckily, in a few days, the weather will clear up, and the two men won’t have to be together any longer. But will a few steamy nights with the grumpy lumberjack change Aiden’s mind about wanting to leave? And will Tristan still want to go back to his peaceful, predictable life without fear of getting his heart broken?

Contains the stories “Once in a Snowstorm,” “The Empty Egg,” “Happy Endings,” and “Just Words.”

Buy links:

Contemporary M/M Romance: 46,142 words

JMS Books :: Amazon :: books2read.com/AidenandTristan